Co-Parenting and Communication

Communication is important when co-parenting, especially when both parents are living separately. Both co-parents are responsible for communication, but when one parent gets off-track and heads towards conflict, it can be difficult for the other to not follow. Reduce the chances of sparking conflict by agreeing to a few communication guidelines (Boyan & Termini, 2009).

Tips on How to Develop New Communication Skills with Your Co-Parent

1.) Agree on a method of communication (Text, Phone calls, E-mails, or Web-based forums)

2.) Discuss the frequency of communication: Usually once a week is fine unless there is an emergency or other special situation.

3.) Select appropriate issues for discussion such as your child’s health, your child’s school performance, your child’s extracurricular activities, time management problems, and changes to the schedule.

4.) Use a respectful tone

5.) Avoid negative body language such as rolling of the eyes, giving disapproving looks, or having an aggressive body stance

6.) Select your words with care. Try to avoid words that criticize, blame, accuse, interrogate, command, or demand.

 

Citation: Boyan, S. B., & Termini, A. M. (2009). Crossroads of Parenting and Divorce: 5 Steps to Prevent Divorce Abuse. Active Parenting Publishers.

 

 

“5 Best Co-parenting Apps”

https://www.warnerbates.com/blog/2020/june/5-best-co-parenting-apps/

Winter Science Experiment: Snow Volcano!

Southern Maryland is finally getting some snow this season! Here is an activity EXPLODING with fun for your next snow day.

 

In a plastic cup or container add:

2TBSP of dish soap

Food coloring of your choice (optional, but way more fun)

½ cup of baking soda

1-2TBSP of warm water

 

Place your cup in the snow and begin to form the snow around the cup all the way to the top, leaving an opening at the top like a volcano would have. Add white vinegar to the cup and watch your volcano erupt!!!

 

*This activity can also be done with a bottle of soda and Mentos candy. Surround a freshly opened bottle of soda (I recommend a 2Liter bottle) with snow leaving an opening at the top and add Mentos candy to the bottle. Be sure to move out of the way QUICKLY, as the chemical reaction erupts very fast and can be quite messy.

Winter Time Gross Motor Activities

Gross motor activities are a fun way to teach your kids and get their bodies moving! During the winter, it can be harder to get outside and get your body moving. Here’s some fun activities you can do inside or outside during the winter:

 

  • Music and movement: put on some music and let your kids dance. You can show them fun dances to do or let them move however they like. They can add to the music or create their own music by clapping their hands and stomping their feet. Try playing Freeze Dance with your kids and practice listening skills while working on gross motor movement.
  • Action Cubes: create an action cube with a box and a marker. Make sure the box is taped close and draw arrows or actions on each side of the box. Roll the box like a dice and instruct the children to do whatever lands face up on the box.
  • Line Movements: using masking tape, create lines on the floor for the children to follow. These can be as fun as you want – zigzags, waves, straight lines, loops.
  • Simon Says: practice listening skills by teaching your children how to play Simon Says. Older children can practice taking turns by being Simon and giving the other children directions.
  • Yoga or stretching: this is a great cool down activity. There are multiple videos on YouTube that teach children how to do yoga – a great one for preschoolers is CosmicKids Yoga. If you want to limit screen time, model basic stretches and have the children follow along.

How to talk about “Hard Things” with your children

Within the last year I stumbled on Gahmya Drummond-Bey’s Instagram account, @evolvedteacher. She is a teacher, an author, a TED speaker, and a global curriculum designer. No matter the current event, she always seems to have a coping skill to assist in discussing “hard things” with children/students. She developed the C.A.R.E. (Consider, Acknowledge, Remind, Empower) method that I would like to share.

C-Consider your child’s thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Give your children the time to express how they perceive what is happening in the world around them before they hear the opinions and beliefs of others in their lives. For older children in the classroom, you can do this by allowing them time to journal. Example prompts: From your point of view, how do you feel about what you see right now? What do you HEAR about what is happening right now? Art therapy is another healthy outlet for expression. Allow your children/students time to sketch or draw their feelings/thoughts on what they see and hear about what is happening. Remember, this is all about their feelings, not how we as adults want them to perceive things.

A-Acknowledge (validate) their feelings and give them the space to express those feelings without correction or judgement. Give them the opportunity to feel like they are heard and supported. This will not only boost their confidence and self-esteem but will also build their language skills in expressing their feelings in the future.

*Active listening is good tool to use in response to your child expressing their feelings. Listen to what they are saying, and repeat back to them what you heard to ensure understanding. Example, “So what I’m hearing you say is you are feeling scared after seeing *XYZ* on the news, is that right?” For younger children, simply repeat back what they said to ensure understanding. Example, “Yeah, the fire on tv was a little scary, huh?”

R-Remind them that you have a safe space together, no matter what is happening in the outside world, whether that be in the classroom or in your home. Remind them of the home/classroom values, remind them how to show up for each other, remind them of how they are encouraged to support each other.

E-Empower your children/students and remind them that they each have a voice that can shape the future world. Empower them to look at the “issues” they see in the world knowing they can be “superheroes” to make changes as they grow.

 

 

Source: Gahmya Drummond-Bey, Instagram @evolvedteacher